Life

"Enoughness" Of Money (Part 2)

By : Ejji	Previous \| Next
Posted on : 09 Dec, 2005	Total Views : 576

Ask yourself if you are �living� or �existing�. 90% of you would be �existing�. Ask yourself if you are �working to live�, or �living to work�. 90% of your would be �working to live�. Ask yourself if you have done anything other than make a mark in your business or professional life, creating wealth, bringing up a perfect family. 90% of you would have done nothing else. Ask yourself if you have done something, just anything, that no one you know has done before. 90% of you will have to answer �No�. The problem here is that you were chasing an invisible shadow. That by itself, is wrong. But you are chasing it at nighttime. Worse still!
Ask yourself these questions:
Do you have enough money?
Are you spending enough time with your family and friends?
Do you come home from your job full of life?
Do you have time to participate in things you believe are worthwhile?
If you stop working, would you see it as an �opportunity�?
Are you at peace with money?
Does your job reflect your values?
Do you have enough savings to see you through the rest of your life of normal living expenses?
Is your life whole? Do all the pieces -- your job, your expenditures, your relationships, your values, your hobbies -- fit together?
If you answer �No� to any one of the above questions, you are one of the 78% of educated persons around the world who are in the rat race of making money.
Life has 4 phases. Only 2 are applicable to developed nations like the USA. Phase 3 and 4 are culturally selective, and does apply to India.
In Phase 1 you are a student, being educated, learning life skills.
In Phase 2 you are a householder, raising a family, making a living, saving money, being part of the community. (For many Americans, personal evolution stops here. Then it's off to the retirement home or the television.)
But the Hindus continue to grow. Hindu retirement, the Phase 3, involves withdrawing from business and social obligations to discover who you are and what life is about. It's time for life's deep questions. It�s time to pursue your hobby. It�s time to see a sunset and stars twinkle. It�s time to be able to get up in the morning and plan your day with no obligations to be met, no problems of business nature to be solved, and not have to spend the day by your watch.
And finally, in Phase 4, you return to a world without attachment to making money. It's the time of �selfless service to yourself�. (Read Ayn Rand�s �Virtues of Selfishness�.) It is the time when you can get up any time of the day, do exactly what you want during the day, and go to bed any time you are satisfied that the day has been well spent. (The richest man in the world is one who can get up whenever he wants, do exactly what he wants and go to sleep whenever he wants-Bob Dylan). It is the time when you can do all that you have loved to do but had no time. (Read, you were busy making money!) Till 40 years of age, you should work for money. After 40 the money should work for you.
I call phases 3 and 4 Hindu phases, considering that the origins of this philosophy is the basis of Hindu religion, but is universally applicable irrespective of class, creed, nation, religion or belief. So I believe.

For all this you need money. The only factor that one has to concede which can erode this blissful state of �Living� and not the usual state of �Existing� is INFLATION. (I consider that �living� and �existing� are 2 different things like chalk and cheese. Both could be white, but they are not the same!)
There are ways to beat it, but that is a different story. In case there is any dissent on this fact, I have only myself as proof. You CAN live comfortably, beating inflation, but for this your investments should be wise, calculated, should be suitably reorganized every 364 days (considering that tax planning in India is worth only 364 days!!), should generate interest that must in part be reinvested, and most important the investment should be large enough to do all this. This again depends on your age. Lower your age, larger the investment, since it has to feed you longer. No use thinking of all this with a small investment. To live a life of a retired rat race runner, your investment must be really large. Lastly, you must not have any loans to be paid and all things you need must have been paid up. This planning comes early in life. 20% of whatever you earn should be saved every month. Life and medical insurances must be started as early in life as possible. The first investment should be a house. The location of the house must be a minimum of 10 km away from the periphery of a Major town, 5 km if it is a minor town and 2 km if it is a village. At the time of retirement, your house will be on the fringe of the town or village considering the growth factor of places in India. I am myself unsure if all this will work for an employed person on a fixed salary, especially a government job. (A government job needs only one qualification till retirement. You have to be alive!! And of course, you have to sign the attendance-register and follow the rulebook. You can retire happily without having taken any decision whatsoever. And imagine working for 158 days a year and getting paid for all 365 days! That is India.)

Through my public speaking, I come in contact with many people who are sufficiently awake to the needs of the world to have asked themselves that same question, "How much of money is enough?" Many of them, even those who speak out about the inequities and insanity of our moneymaking and keeping-up-with-the Joneses culture, feel they fall far short of the mark in practicing what they preach. They confess their "sins of upward mobility" to me, with everything from sheepishness to painful guilt.
Others, though, have discovered that golden meaning of �enough money�. Here are a few consistent themes from their stories:
They have a sense of purpose larger than their own needs, wants and desires. Desires are infinite. Fill one desire and another emerges. A sense of purpose, though, sorts real needs from whims and preferences and directs your attention to only those things that will really serve your mission -- whether the "mission" is raising children, building a house, buying a car, a garden, accumulating money or consciousness.
They can account for their money. They know where it comes from and where it goes. They know how much they make, how much more they can make and how to make it. There's a sense of clarity that comes from such precision and truthfulness. If you don't know how much you have, you can never have enough. On the contrary, as Paul Getty said, �If you can count your money, you are not rich�!
They have an internal yardstick for fulfillment. Their sense of "enoughness" isn't based on what others have or don't have. Instead, they look inside and see if something is really adding to their happiness, or is just more money to make, store and own,
Like my friend, a constant traveling companion of mine and a self-made millionaire to boot, told me on the phone the other evening, that he has a sense of responsibility for the country and the world, a sense of how his business life and choices fit into the larger social, patriotic and spiritual scheme of things. Wow! I am impressed with his patriotism and goals! His reasoning isn�t true. It�s only an excuse to make more money. But he by himself sincerely believes he is emulating an Ambani or J.Paul Getty. And he is happy. So am I for him.
The most important thread that runs through the whole fabric of �people who cannot stop making money� are, (statistically collected by me and not based on any study or scientific deduction): a) They come from humble backgrounds where money was never in plenty. If they had continued in such a background, they are not eligible for my statistical evaluation, and would continue being in the same social and monetary /economic level for the rest of their lives. b) They taste the power of money, sometimes as a windfall, sometimes they earn it, sometimes when money comes through marriage and start making the money become wealth. (After all money can be inherited, married into, earned or thieved. No other way except of course printing it your self.) c) They are scared of going back into the early �no-money� state and even when they have a fair amount of �cushioning against calamities and security� to call it quits, they do not do so because of this fear. The �cushioning� is made bigger and bigger as the fear of the loss of accumulated wealth increases geometrically with age, and they spend the rest of their lives working their life off. d) They would like to bequeath property and wealth to their progenies, even though the progenies would have done well for themselves, as they do not want their progenies to have the handicap they themselves lived through in their early years without money. (That bequeathed wealth is more dangerous than not having any wealth in the hands of the receiver is never realized and/or accepted by them. This has been statistically proved. Recipients of bequeathed money tend to squander it and the third generation down the line has to start all over again.) e) They have an inherent fear that in case of some unforeseen circumstance, they will not be able to make the same amount of money again at a later date, in the same time. (Lack of faith in their own inherent capacities!!) Then, again here, how much enough is �enoughness�. f) They have hardly any enjoyment in life other than mundane things like going to work, seeing their investment grow, coming back home from work, thinking about relatives, children, grandchildren and wife, watching television, reading gossip magazines, socially interacting at long intervals with a very small group of friends which has never grown last 20 years and will not grow the next 20 years, visiting relatives and having relatives visit them. (The number of relatives being visited will depend on whose seed money has grown. If it�s the wife�s money that was the seed, you visit more of the wife�s relatives. If it is your money that has been the seed, you visit more of your relatives.) Give them a sheet of paper and ask them to list the activities unconnected with making money for a single day, and it will not exceed a list of 5 activities. Imagine only 5 such activities that they go through on a single day in the year 2005 and with mobility, information, communication and the internet at your fingertips. They would not be up to date with reading of best sellers but will be up to date with film gossip. They will have a very small range of music they listen to, in all probability in the same language and from the same source (say regional films) that they have been accustomed to from early age. They will not attend meetings/ discussions where new ideas are shared and you can broaden your knowledge. Their quest to learn new things and new information is restricted to newspapers, and even that pertaining to their own business/profession. They never up date their skills in anything except their own field of business. Even on a business trip to Egypt, they will never see the Pyramids. g) They show an outward appearance of having left all work at the office, but their mind is always on an �alert� mode even after work time. Ask them if they can leave their home at a drop of a hat for a game of golf, and they will give excuses that seem rather normal, but the real truth is they feel deprived of �money-making-highs� in activities like playing golf. h) They seek out problems within their immediate family or business that they take up on themselves to solve. They do not believe in the fact that any human being given a chance to drown will learn to swim. Ask them for reasons and one answer will in all probability emerge. �I am happy doing what I am doing. Why are you bothered�! They are right. I should not have asked. Not because it is bad manners. But, because I know the answer they will give! i) They are comfortable following a standard biological clock- doing the same things at the same time every day. Any change in this schedule upsets them. j) They are averse to make any change to what they always have, like new friends or even in food habits. k) They usually give target dates for retiring from the rat race. When that date is reached, they will still be in the rate race and give you another date for retirement. This will be buttressed with sane and sound arguments that no one can fault with. l) They prefer small groups of known persons than to stand in the middle of a large group or persons they are meeting for the first time. These are some of the salient features I have personally collected and do not stand up to scientific scrutiny.

Here is an analogy of such �enlightened� souls. They are the same as broilers and layers (chickens) that grow up in battery system farms. (A battery system poultry farm has meshed cages like pigeon hole cubicles arranged in rows. A conveyer belt in front carries feed and water. Another conveyer belt at the bottom carries out the excrement. A third conveyor belt carries out the eggs laid by these birds on the slightly sloping cubicle floor, on which the eggs roll out on to this belt. Fully automatic system including temperature controls and all procedures needed.
The day old chick is put into each cubicle. It just feeds, shits and grows in the one pigeon holed cubicle. The bird can move and turn around for a few weeks. But as it grows bigger, it cannot do so. Ultimately it grows to a size where it can only sit and stand in the same position. (May be like the social circle of the rate race runner, it is in close contact with 3 other birds, the ones to its right, left and rear.) The size of the cubicle is the maximum size to which it will grow ultimately. It literally is stuck in the cubicle in the last days before it is culled. Animal activists are against this system. But scientific study using EEG machines have proved that these birds do not feel any discomfort as they have never experienced freedom of movement other than in the cubicle from the day it is born. I give this analogy for persons who �exist�. They are happy existing as they have never tasted the luxury of �living�.

More is better, or more of what matters?...
The results are in. Americans dream about getting more of what matters, not just about getting more. A new poll released by the Center for a New American Dream revealed that 86% of Americans feel the term �more of what matters in life� fits their concept of the American Dream better than the term �more is better.�
The nationwide poll found Americans nervous about the current state of the American Dream. We worry that excessive materialism is having serious consequences for our children, for society, and for the environment. We worry about a pervasive �buy now, pay later� mentality and believe that the American Dream is getting out of reach for many Americans.
But we�re also willing to turn things around. A large majority of Americans say they are willing to take action in their personal lives to reduce consumption and materialism. Nearly half say they have already made voluntary changes in their lives, making less money in order to reduce stress, get in balance, and have more free time. And they are happy with the changes.
If �more of what matters� is important to you, you�ve come to the right place. The Dream helps you get more of what matters by having a goal from day one of business life, achieving it, retiring (with enough money of course!), living consciously, buying wisely, and making a difference to the quality of your life that you wish to lead, emotionally and practically. Set goals early, achieve targets, quit, simplify, and have more fun. Take control and stay in tune with your values. Support personal happiness in doing things that matter to you other than running a rat race.

Talking of the phrase �rat race�, here�s an aside. My occupation listed on my card and today�s brochure says �Rat Race Runner (Retd.)�. Few understand what it means. Many question me. One person asked me if I was a retired sportsman. Another asked me if I had raced rats. The third opined that anyone who races a rat can win. A friend also told me, �Ejji, even though one may have quit the rat race, you still remain a rat!�

Back to what I was telling you, find others who, like you, who are willing to take action for a better world and broaden your social contacts.
Because more isn�t always better. But more of what matters is.
Never needlessly indulge yourselves in doing anything you don�t have to. If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing or not at all. But what you do, you must enjoy doing.
Value focus and relaxed concentration. Value being here and now.
This is not to say don�t believe in hard work, I do. I believe it exists. I have witnessed it on occasion, and, in times of recklessness, I have even engaged in it. But I believe there is a better way. Keep a target date and a list of wants. Achieve it, please.
Achieving your target and quitting the rat race is a skill that must be learned. We understand that it�s not for everyone. The Ancient Greeks understood that we work in order to have leisure. If it was good enough for them, it�s good enough for us.

We do not dwell on the past and on how things got to be the way they are - although understanding one's past, learning from past experiences and using them in positive ways may become part of the process. Instead, we focus on what you have now, what you want to do about it and the future you want to create.
Research shows that money and wealth can create both positive and negative feelings for individuals and families. It is thought, for example, that the reason for loss of money is poor financial planning. However recent evidence show that 90% is lost due to poor emotional preparation and only 10% is due to poor financial planning. The relationship between money and psychology is a key aspect of growing and preserving wealth.
While it is difficult to generalize, in many cases the more financial security people have, paradoxically, they experience less emotional security. Their external life may appear solid and well furnished, but inside, they frequently harbor debilitating concerns about family conflicts, self worth, fears, failure, inadequacy, responsibility, and ironically even survival. Society's assumption that material success guarantees happiness merely exacerbates these concerns.
There is no magic formula for how to address these issues. Each family is unique, and so are the individuals in it, and therefore have a different set of challenges. However, a two-pronged approach is found to be most effective when dealing with the challenges of money and wealth. One is approaching the personal level and the other is focusing on the practical financial aspects.
At the personal level the primary objective is the emotional education, which can begin by exploring the underlying concerns and psycho-dynamics that related to the person's life and his financial consciousness. The practical financial aspects relate to financial education, which includes choosing the right advisors, to educate our selves in how to better manage and preserve money.
The above support is often best supplemented by developing the necessary skills to manage money or wealth. This may include focusing on creating effective communication with your inner self and goals. It is therefore important to understand the relationships between your financial status and your emotional and behavioral state as a way to overcome various challenges in your life.

Alas only a few of those who are experiencing various challenges with regard to money or wealth have the confidence to approach it practically. Not only are people generally too embarrassed to ask for help in unraveling their feelings, financially independent people suffer the double stigma. Since their problems are caused by money or wealth, which supposedly should be making them happy.
It is crucial for people to understand that an inner search can offer guidance without imposing decisions, accept you as you are, without making judgments and above all, listen in a way that provides you with clarity in realizing the way forward in the maze to happiness.

Finally, don�t succumb to the latest world-wide infection, especially among the younger acheivers. Affluenza! Affluenza is a new word. Let us see what the definition is. Affluenza is the bloated, sluggish and unfulfilled feeling that results from efforts to keep up with the Joneses. An unsustainable addiction and epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness caused by dogged pursuit of the money, material, title and power.
One of the reasons for not being able to handle wealth is 'Affluenza'. To make more money for themselves and others in order to accumulate signs of affluence just so that others will know you have arrived. But don�t forget that a third party on their own set of standards and rules is judging you.
Imagine you have proudly announced to the world once: I�m going to be rich! Good. But what is the meaning of the word �rich�. If you have assigned a proper definition, work towards that goal with a time frame you set. Do give it a small correction factor too, since most things will not work out in the time frame you set.

In most societies, we are raised to believe in the myth that it�s spiritual to be poor. Or we use such phrases as filthy rich, or Money is the root of all evils. Our TV and movies present the big businesses as the bad guys, and programs our minds to believe that being rich is bad.
So once years ago when I was asked by a �good friend� that disturbing question, �Why are you obsessed with money?� it made me start thinking. I must confess I was obsessed with money. The reason, I didn�t have money. Any money. I was too young and financially distraught to marry into money, though such opportunities luckily were unlimited, thus preventing me from becoming a �private gigolo�. And my father, even if I planned to murder him to get his money, had decided not to will me any of his wealth.
I asked myself: What am I really obsessed about? What are we all obsessed about? So I remembered...
I remembered I was working twelve to eighteen hours a day. Even though the money was good, it was exhausting me mentally and physically. I remembered that my cause was to have real control over my own time, to spend it with my loved ones, on the things that really matter to me, instead of working hard all of my life. And...
I remembered that I love to go and see rare places in India and other countries. I remembered that I love to do theatre. I loved racing cars. I remembered that I simply wanted to have fun. I remembered that I would like to spend my day doing exactly what I want and not be answerable to any human being. I understood that my goal was NOT to get stuck in the rat race, working hard all of my life, and living the illusion of having what some people call a "normal" life. I know some might say: Well, that�s how life is. No, I resent that. You live the life that YOU desire to have, I know its easier just to follow the crowd, but eventually, it is YOUR life, and you should reach an internal peace, rather than wondering how the outside world will look at you.
So I remembered that it wasn�t simply just making money. Those invaluable causes were driving me to become wealthy in my own way. That is when I decided I work for 20 years and no more. That is why I started saving, investing and educating myself, I bought books, I learned from others� experience and spoke to them at length on all matters, I made such a vast circle of friends. (You can call them social contacts. Remember, never expect any human being to help you when you are in trouble. Most people help themselves through you. Me, a cynic? No way. I am just practical!!) But I had one goal- work and save for 20 years and no more! This was my first step towards financial freedom.
Of course, all these cost money. So what? People are spending lots of money on their cable TV, on their trips, and you name it... Well, I rather spend it on my dreams, and my best investment is in educating myself. Those books that I bought have opened my eyes, showed me that there's another way, an easier way, and I received invaluable insights that turned my life around.
So people say money is not the most important thing in their lives, the irony is, they are willing to work hard most of their lives for... MONEY! Where YOU and I (if you are reading this article so far then may be you share my feelings!) are not willing to work so hard for it. We want to make enough money, so we would NOT have to work for money all of our lives.
Keep those greater causes in your mind. Those genuine causes will drive you towards your sincere goals in front of those objections. And yes, it is OK to have a dream; life is not worth living without one.

Now I come to bequeathing property or money or business - Making money is one thing, passing it on, is another. How prepared are heirs to handle wealth and its trappings? Most rat race runners who retire worry about this. It is also very important to appreciate and accept that you have to look after yourself and your progenies will look after themselves. Making decisions of any kind for another family member or business associate, and making them follow it is a sure way to put an end to your post-rat-race happiness. In India everyone wants a marriage, a house, a Maruti and parents� property. Most persons I have met make decisions for their sons or daughters. What they should do. Whom they should marry. Now I ask you, if I was told by my father what I should do and whom I should marry and I went ahead with it and both these ended in failures, am I not right in asking my father why he screwed up my life by making me follow his instructions? Do I not have the right to ask my father to support me now, since I did what he asked me to do, and I am now a failure, in spite of doing as he asked? Beware, this could be you giving the advice and instruction. Soon you will have an albatross round your neck. Why make decisions for others?

One obvious fact is that most of us go through life, thinking we are God's gift to mankind or is it woman kind? We strut around, swagger and feel we are indispensable to home or company. "What would my family ever do without me?" we wonder, little realizing that they could manage pretty well without us.
Here�s a small story I read recently.
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits.
The storeowner observed and listened to the conversation on the extension: The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now," replied boy.
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn. The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North Palm beach, Florida."
Again the woman answered in the negative.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy and said, "Son I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance and the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"
Ha! That must have been one happy boy!
Two things struck me with this little story:
One, that he must have obviously put in a lot of hard work to get that kind of response from his employer and two, that here was a little fellow who was ready to learn about himself. It must take a lot of guts to put your neck on the line and do what the lil' boy did. Do you think the boy would have done it if his father had always told him that dad�s factory was his in a few years time?
Do we have the courage to make an appraisal of ourselves? Have you the guts to stop a moment and make an appraisal of yourself? To really ask ourselves how much we contribute to home or job? Do more people outside your place of work and business know you, or is it the other way round? As Harold Robbins said about a person who �existed� and had not �lived�, �He is one of the millions who walks the streets of New York, whose death goes unnoticed�.
What about you when your time comes? Will your neighbors wonder who you were? Or will men and women from all over come and tell your family what a good, great person you were? Will they say you have left a multi-million dollar empire for your progenies? Will they say he worked till his last breath? Will they say, �Great guy! Enjoyed doing so many things. Wish I could do them.� Will they say, here was a guy who �Lived� and did not �Exist�? Or will they say, �He existed. Never lived�. What you do will decide your epitaph. Do things now, to postpone the need for an epitaph by retiring from the rat race and stress if you so desire. For stress is the primary cause of all early epitaphs!
Coming to the end of this article, I can hear your mind�s eye say that all this is possible only when there is sufficient employment opportunities, and it may not work in India.
Now don�t tell me about opportunities. India is the land of �unwillingness� for employment. We do not, I repeat, do not have �unemployment�. You can either match an opportunity to your skill, or get or upgrade a skill to match an opportunity. Once you identify and integrate both, put your best in it. You want to be a rickshaw puller, pickpocket or whore, be it. But strive to become the best in the profession. Once you have become the best, do not forget that there is a large population waiting to take your place in half the time and with one-fourth your intelligence. Mark your calendar and say, I work for so many years and that�s it. That is how the world moves in the 21st century. Move along with the 21st century thinking. (I do concede that in any society there are people who are happy with old world values. Let them live and be happy. Sati is old talk. But there are some who will commit it even today in India. Hara-kiri is still alive in pockets of Japan.) Do not take up a profession or a career that is thrust on you. Be prepared to travel anywhere. Today the whole world is a village. (In today�s world it is bad manners to ask a person their land of birth, as much as it is to ask for their religion or grade them by their color.) Most important, to be able to call yourself a Rat Race Runner Retired, start saving from day one. The world never forgives a person whose quality of life goes down. No one is known for what he was, but always for what he is. Learn to be selfish. You have to look after yourself. Not any other human being. It is you who should enjoy the money you earn. Not any one else. After all you worked for it. Stop slogging, making money, buying, saving for your progenies. Lastly, don�t do any of these things if you don�t believe in it and it doesn�t make you happy. You�ll be happy yourself! Either way!

This is what is now given the high-flown name �Voluntary Simplicity� in the Western World. And the idea is growing very rapidly.

Insults, disagreements and personal questions are most welcome! So are any agreements with this way of thinking.

Written By : Ejji

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