Life
| By : Rajneesh Batra | Previous | Next |
| Posted on : 12 Oct, 2006 | Total Views : 534 |
I always wonder why do we all realize and remember the goodness and gentleness of anybody only after his departure and not during his lifetime.
After lighting pyre of the departed soul we enter into a self-introspection and get submerged in the ocean of guilt and self-condemnation which results nothing but worsens our remaining life.
While I am writing all this I have been missing my Grandfather (we called them Bau Ji) as much as anybody on this earth can be miss anybody from the bottom of one’s heart. Exactly seventeen years ago he left us on the first day of the year at the age of 82. I can categorically say that during these 40 years of my life I have yet to find a simpler and holier person than him. And, I am sure I am not gong to find any, till rest of my life either.
But, I am also not living above the guilt because I too realize that we, viz, my Grandfather’s sons and grandsons did not pay him as much respect as he was entitled for. Although, I was very small during that time but I very clearly remember that although his sons never disrespected him but never mingled with him either in spite of knowing that he was suffering from the trauma of ‘Widower-hood’ for the last fifteen years. The moment he used to enter the room every body would keep silent and give him an impression as if he was intruding to their privacy. I curse myself whenever I remember those days as I consider myself also a party to it. Although I was small but not that small that I could have not raised my voice against this cruelty or could stand beside him. May God never forgive me for this sin that I did not help a pious soul when I could have done so.
Now I come to the major reason of my confession before the entire world. One of my uncles i.e. middle son of the departed soul is writing a book on the ‘History of Batras’, which starts from their coming to India from Iran, their struggle during partition and subsequently their survival and getting respectable position in the society. He is virtually running across countries to gather the data as he is extremely affluent and resourceful. But through millions of readers I wish to ask him one question. Whether he has any right to write such a book when he could not understand his father’s feeling? Can he say that he proved to be an ideal son? If he failed to do justice to the first man of his life how can he do justice to the ‘Clan of Batras’. I, even before the release of the book condemn it beforehand and declare that I would be the last person to read it.
Today the other two sons of my grandfather one of whom happens to be my father are also missing their father a bit too much because they have now stepped into his shoes. But, now it is too late for them as well because he is not around to forgive them. Here are two lines which define their state of mind best:-
“Samajhte Kya The Sunte They Faqat Fasan-e-Dard,
Samajh Mein Aane Laga Jab To Phir Suna Naa Gaya.”
I just fail to understand one thing. When it is an undeniable truth that every individual has to pass through the same road of life why does he damage it and create potholes in it ? Because tomorrow it would be only him who would fall flat on his face due to his misdeeds.
Today, if the Almighty blesses me with one ‘Wish’, I would ask him to bring my ‘Bau Ji’ back to life for a moment so that I could fall on his feet for the forgiveness for all the sins committed even inadvertently so that I could face him without any guilt when I reach ‘UP’ there.
Written By : Rajneesh Batra
