Self Improvement
| Six Steps For Taking A Stand !! |
| By : Sunit | Previous | Next |
| Posted on : 04 Apr, 2007 | Total Views : 289 |
1. Trust your inner voice that says something's not right.
If something feels wrong to you about a situation or person at work, it
probably is. We may not know exactly why just yet, but the first step
to effectively managing conflict is to believe that there's a problem.
Good girls tend to deny or minimize a problem. Bodacious Women don't
look away or pretend. They accept that a problem exists.
2. See the situation for what it is.
After you've accepted that a problem exists, back off from your
frustration for the moment and use your head to paint as complete a picture as
possible. Who are all the players or people involved? What are the
facts of the situation (for example, he did this, then she said that, then
I said...)? What underlying dynamics do you also see going on? Try to
be as objective as possible at this point. It's easy to get emotionally
swept up and thrown off as you think through this. Resist that as much
as possible.
3. Decide what you want.
Here's where you first need to take a stand with yourself. In almost
all the conflicts we have, there is usually some aspect that attacks our
sense of self-worth or self-esteem. Standing up for yourself first
means you internally reject negative, critical messages from others as
true, and believe that you are a person worth being treated with respect.
Now that you're clear about being treated with respect, what do you
want to be different in this situation? Is there a specific behavior you
want the other person to demonstrate? Is there a specific decision or
result you want in your favor? Be as specific as possible, because when
you are, you're more likely to get it.
4. Decide how you're going to interact with this person.
Determine what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. If
you're saying something in person, write it out and say it out loud.
Start with a statement of your main point, pause, and then add backup
information of what you mean and why you feel the way you do. No need to
over explain.
Practice in front of mirror, then on a trusted friend who can give you
feedback. Get used to the wording so that it flows without having to
look down at your paper. If you're writing an e-mail or letter, write it
once, then put it aside and read it again later. Is it clear? Is it too
long? Would the person know how you want them to respond? Again, ask a
friend to put their eyes on it and get feedback.
5. Do it!
You just gotta get started and do it! I know that taking a stand in
person is a tough thing to do; yet often it's the most effective way to
get your needs met. I also know we have to face our fears head on. One
thing that helps me is to focus on the fact that I can't fail. Why?
Because the fact is, I didn't shrink from the uncomfortable situation, I
demonstrated my self-respect, and I'm doing something about it.
6. Expect some pushback and then respond.
Once you've determined what you're going to say and how you're going to
say it, anticipate the response. If you're addressing one person, come
up with at least two ways he or she may respond. How will you reply? If
it's a small group, consider at least one response for each person.
After using this checklist a few times, you'll find that taking a stand
will come much easier for you and eventually will be an automatic
reaction. It's conditioning and it's personal power. Start exercising it!
Sanjay Tiwari
www.SuperShaadi.com - Working for better half
New Delhi, India
Written By : Sunit
