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Disciplining Your Child
Posted On : 09 Oct 2007 Total Views : 10542 Previous | Next

Children are like blank slates on which their parents began to write their lives. Parents lay the foundation of their lives. If the foundation is week, the structure of life is also week. Disciplining your child will help to determine how your child is going to behave or misbehave in the future. Disciplining your child is one way of setting them on the right path and provides them to building it on their own.


Discipline is guidance toward positive behavior and learning. Positive guidance encourages a child to think before he acts. Positive guidance promotes self-control.

Disciplining a child is comparable to walking a tightrope. People have to maintain delicate balance between over-indulgence and dictatorship. But mostly parents do not perceive discipline as being such as delicate business. According to mostly parents, it is based on a simple principle. If their child does not meet the standards of ‘good’ behavior set up by the parents, he must be disciplined. But it is very shortsighted approach. In the long run, disciplining your child is aimed at teaching him to internalize the standards of behavior so that he can be the judge of his own behavior and realize what is acceptable and what is not. Children must understand what is good or what is bad.

Correcting the mistakes of children is not only discipline but it is way of showing them the right thing to do.

Discipline is a positive process rather than negative one. Discipline is guidance toward positive behavior and learning. Positive guidance encourages a child to think before he acts. Positive guidance promotes self-control. Parents also want to raise children who have the understanding of their actions and their consequences.

Styles of discipline:

Parents adopt different styles of discipline. First, one is authoritarian approach. According to some parents, their children cannot deny their orders. Discipline is guidance toward positive behavior and learning. Positive guidance encourages a child to think before he acts. Positive guidance promotes self-control.  This approach does not encourage questions or feel the need for justification. Fact is that it promotes only blind obidence.They obey their parents only because of fear. They have no understanding why they are prohibited to do certain things or have to do other things.

Another type of parents is the permissive parents who operate on the principle that a child is rational, sensible human being and should be treated as such. Their children are participative. Parents do not issue orders but encourage discussion. In my opinion, these types of parents are no good discipliners. Because children are very young to understand the things. They need the advice and guidance of their parents. Children have not any set standards so they cannot judge their own actions.

Best style of discipline is to combine these two approaches. In this style, the parents lay down the rules but explain the reasons behind these rules. Their children thus understand why they should obey their parents. The children thus establish the connection between their actions and their consequences and build 
solid foundation on which they can base their future judgments.

 Be consistent in your methods of discipline .Discipline should be positive always.

Here are some suggestions for good discipline:
    • Avoid yelling and screaming. Stay calm.
    • Avoid too much criticism. Make sure your child understands that it is the misbehavior that you are unhappy with and that you will always love him.
    • Do not focus on negatives, especially when offering positive strengthening.
    • Do not praise your child all of the time particularly for daily routine, because it will make your comments less effective.
    • Never punish the child physically. it will make your child more aggressive and angry.
    • Remember to give rewards and praise for good behavior.
    • Understand the difference between rewards and bribes. A reward is something your child receives after he has done something, while a bribe is for to do something. Bribes should be avoided.
    • Be a good role model.

According to a survey, it has been observed that children whose parents discipline them by hitting, nagging, or shouting at them on a regular basis, have a tendency to be more violent and aggressive than other children who are disciplined through other means.

So always, adopt the techniques of positive discipline that requires thought, planning, and patience.

 
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