Children Jokes

Email |  Post Comments

Tommy`s house is packed with relatives for Christmas dinner. Grandpa calls 6 year old Tommy and starts asking about school, girlfriends and other stuff he can think of. After a while, grandpa notices that Tommy is loosing interest in the conversation so he pulls out two bills from his wallet to see if he can keep him interested. A ten and a twenty dollar bill. He shows both bills to Tommy and tells him that he can keep any one he chooses. Tommy reaches over and grabs the ten dollar bill.
Grandpa is pretty surprised and upset about the unwise decision his grandchild made, pulls out another ten dollar bill to see if it was a mistake. Again, he tells Tommy to take one of the bills and keep it.
Tommy grabs the other ten. Grandpa again is surprised and upset. He takes Tommy over to one of the uncles and shows him how dumb Tommy is in choosing the ten over the twenty. Grandpa goes on and on showing everyuncle and cousin and each time Tommy chooses the ten over the twenty. Grandpa finally shows the stunt to daddy. Daddy s quite surprise but doesn`t pay too much attention at the moment.
A few hours later, daddy who is very concerned about Tommy`s poor decision, walks up to him and asks him if he knows the difference between a ten dollar bill and a twenty.
"Of course," answers Tommy.
"So why did you always choose the ten over the twenty?" asks dad.
Tommy, with a wide smile answers, "Well dad, if I would have chosen the first twenty dollar bill, do you think grandpa would have played the game fifteen more times?"

Email |  Post Comments

If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday School class.

"NO!" the children all answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

"Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

Email |  Post Comments

A boy who was a witness to a crime was on the witness stand in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say in court?"

"Yes Sir", answered the boy.

"I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?"

"My father, sir."

"And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly.

"He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I stuck to the truth, everything would be all right."

Email |  Post Comments

TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

Email |  Post Comments

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

Email |  Post Comments

A small kid was having a walk with his mom. He sa another family going with a puppy. Kid started demanding a pup.
His mom refused.
Kid asked "why v do not Raise pup?".
Mom said "because v raise kids."
Kid said pointing towards that family-- "How mean R they ?"
Mom "Why?"
Kid "because they do not raise kids."

Email |  Post Comments

Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh

Email |  Post Comments

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26
sir....

Email |  Post Comments

Teacher: Where is the Mt.Everest

Student: I don't know

Teacher: Then stand up on the bench!

Student;(after standing up on the bench) I still can't see it !

Email |  Post Comments

Jimmy's mom dragged him in front of his dad during the football game.

"Talk to your son," she said. "He refuses to obey a word I say."

The father turned to Jimmy angrily. "Jimmy, how dare you disobey your mother. Do you think you're better than your old man?"