Children Jokes

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The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.

Someone dialed 911.

When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.

"It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower."

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TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
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TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
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PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
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Water or Whiskey? A professor of chemistry wanted
to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils
of liquor, so he produced an experiment that
involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and
two worms.

"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the
professor putting a worm first into the water. The
worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm
in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It
writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom,
dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we
derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised
his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey
and you won't get worms!!!"

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Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited

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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."

"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

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An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store and picked out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the grocer. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it. A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him." "Oh? What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle!"

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A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?"

The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."