Children Jokes

Email |  Post Comments

A man to a boy
Man : what is your father name
Boy : laughing
Man : what is your mother name
Boy : smiling
Man : no you must be kidding
Boy : no he is my brother i am joking

Email |  Post Comments

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his
mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother, wanted Bobby to reflect on his
behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year,
so he tore up the letter and started over.


Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.

Your friend
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby


Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.


Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.
Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs
and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad. "Just be home in time for
dinner,"
Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street,
into
the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN,
SEND THE BIKE!
BOBBY

Email |  Post Comments

After Christmas Thought

A few days after Christmas, my six year son and I were talking. He asked, "Mom, is there a Santa Claus?"

"Well, what do you think?" I asked him.

He replied, "Well, my Playstation that I got and my gift from Santa were wrapped in the same kind of wrapping paper." He thought for a minute and said, "I'll tell you what ... you and Dad can go on buying me presents and let's just forget we ever had this talk!"

Email |  Post Comments

Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces

Email |  Post Comments

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

Email |  Post Comments

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

Email |  Post Comments

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

Email |  Post Comments

Keep an Eye on Your Cousin

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin," the mother said. "Where is he?"

"Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming."

Email |  Post Comments

Girls as young as nine are taking steroids.

Steroid use among young girls is on the rise. Girls as young as nine are taking steroids. Remember when girls were sugar and spice and everything nice?
Now they’re strong as a bear with facial hair….

Email |  Post Comments

Music Notes

The first graders were attending their first music lesson. The teacher was trying to begin at the beginning. She drew a musical staff on the blackboard and asked a little girl to come up and write a note on it.

The little girl went to the blackboard, ooked thoughtful for a minute and wrote, "Dear Aunt Emma, just a short note to tell you I'm fine."