Education Jokes

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A wise schoolteacher

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."

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There's Teacher

The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's teacher; she's dead."

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An Atheist

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not an atheist."

Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a Christian."

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.

"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.

"What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

She paused, and smiled. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."

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A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, "My father's dead, Miss."
"Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?"
"He went blue and collapsed."

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Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.

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Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
Johnny: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.

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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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A teacher asked Pappu: What's the capital of United States?
Pappu: Washington DC.
When asked what "DC" stood for, Pappu added, "Dot com!"

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Q: How do you recognize a Santa's son in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

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Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence.
Student: WOW !