Education Jokes

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A new lecturer (a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class.The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him.
So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out.But he does n't know how to put it in English.
He went near the guy.Shouted "follow me".The guy followed him till he went out of the class.
Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted "Don't follow me" and went inside the class.

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Teacher : What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

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Teacher to santa: Tell me any 5 animals living in water?
Santa: 1- Frog.
Teacher: Theek ha, hor das?
Santa: 2-Frog da father,
3-Frog di mother,
4-Sister &
5-His wife.....!!!

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Rohit (tall and very thin) was standing at the bus stop. Suddenly a car stops and a beautiful girl waves to him and calls him. Rohit was initially surprised but recognizes her. She was Jasmine, his old batch mate. He was wondering why she was calling him because she never ever gave him a lift in college. Anyway, he sat in car and Jasmine gave him a warm welcome (Kaise ho? Kya kar rahe ho? etc.) Then Jasmine offered to have coffee with him, which surprised Rohit all the more. Again he thought, 'Coffee with Jasmine!! ( the old dream)' and gave his consent.
Then Jasmine changed her mind and said, "Let's go to my house....there are a lot of people in the cafe ..."
Now rohit thought, "Aab to mazaa aa jaaye ga".
When they reached Jasmine's house she asks Rohit, "Why don't we sit in my bed room? We only have AC in there".
Now Rohit was sure Jasmine phass gaye hai and he starts dreaming about her in the bed soon.
Jasmine then asked Rohit, "Why don't you take off your shirt? You are sweating".
Rohit starts dreaming again about her in the bed and jasmine asks him to make himself comfortable.
"I will back in a minute", she says, and left Rohit alone in the room, thinking about Jasmine's @#$!%^$&%* .
Then after five minutes
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Jasmine enters the room with 2 children and says
"Deko bachon! Agar horlicks nahin piyoge to body iske jaisi ho jaigi".

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Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."

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Exams, marks, percentage, sab bekar ki baaten hain, Sab mohmaya hai,
Tum khali haath aaye ho khali haath jaoge,
Isliye satya ko apnao,
Jao so jao.

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Teacher to a Sardar : A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar : I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your Daughter.

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Master: kal school kyun nahi aaya?
Santa: Gir gaya tha, lag gayi.
Master: Kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gir gaya tha aur AANKH lag gayi.

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Sardar Teacher in class-We will be having a dictation test today.

Student sitting at last bench- SIR ! We cannot hear you.

Sardar teacher- OK ! Let me write on blackboard.

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After a two-and-a half-hour lecture on our country's missions abroad,the teacher asked the student's of international relation's, "Which mission would you choose?"
Came a voice from the back seat of the room ,"Intermission,Sir."