Education Jokes

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Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

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Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does.

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There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many people are stomping around there these days.

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The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

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You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

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Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.


A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

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Your friendship is the sky above my home,
The crystal air I breathe, through which I see.
I can't believe how much you mean to me.
Without you with me, time would turn to stone.
I don't know why I need you so, or how
I know so absolutely I'll be there
In times your wounded heart can hardly bear.
I only know this truth is with me now.

Why is it in our lives that we need friends
To be awake and fully what we are?
Alone we dream but never cross the bar;
With you I share a grace that never ends.

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It was time for the final and the student depending upon getting at least one right answer on the chemistry test.

The question was "If h20 if water, what is h204?"

This was a quick question for most, but it took the student some thinking time.

Finally, he wrote down his answer: For drinking, washing, and cleaning

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This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water.

Her professor observed what she was about to do, out of the corner of his eye and hurried towards her, and after confirming this was what she was intending to do, asked her first to stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the potassium.

She was puzzled and ran after him to ask the purpose of this action.

'It will give me time to get away' said the professor.

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Would you please move your cars?
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing."
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."