Entertainment Jokes

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Having lost his donkey Sardarji, got down
to his knees and thanked God.

A passerby saw this and asked, "Your donkey is missing. What are you thanking God for?"

Sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

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A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"

The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

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A sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.

Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"

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1. A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:

Saala pura body headache maar raha hai

2. A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets, Do tho ticket dena.

The person at the window tells him that there is a house full.

So this Bihari says koi baat nahin do house full de do.

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Laloo to his P.A.: Itne khiladi kyun football ko laat mar rahe hai?

P.A: Goal kar ne ke liye.

Laloo: Sasura,Ball to pehle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge.!

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A lady approaches a priest and tells him,

"Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.

They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?""

That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.

My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.

"So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house.
The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say,
"Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams,
"Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!"

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A woman complained to her doctor that her husband was always looking at attractive women and wondering after them.
"Its hard to stop men admiring women", the doctor told her.
"But he's 82 yrs of age", the woman persisted.
"Look at this way" the doctor said soothingly, "I have a small pet dog that chases cars, what on earth would he do with one if he caugt it?"

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Ron and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ron suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in, to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ron out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news - she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ron, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.
I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'

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The Human Body
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The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in the heck we were designed the way we were.
Scientists say the higher your I.Q., the more you dream.
The largest cell in the human body is the female egg.
The Smallest is the male sperm.
You use 200 muscles to take one step.
The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three .
A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
Your thumb is the same length as your nose.
And now I bet that if you read this you put your thumb to your nose - just to check

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Husband and wife go to a wishing well.

Husband drops a coin and wishes for something.

Wife too comes to wish for something, she bends too much that she fell into the well.

Husband standing astronished says "It really works".