Entertainment Jokes

Email |  Post Comments

A drunken man, smelling heavily of beer sat down on a tube train next to a Priest.

The man's tie was stained; his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of whiskey was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replied, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, and lack of bathing."

The drunk muttered his response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

Email |  Post Comments

A lady asked shopkeeper: LIPTON di chah hai?

Shopkeeper replied: Mainu ta nahi hai, tenu hai ta lipat ja...

Email |  Post Comments

Tinku on Phone: " Maa khushkhabri hai!!"

Maa: "Bolo beta"

Tinku: "Hum do se teen ho gaye hain"

Ma: "Mubarak ho, Beta hua ya beti."

Tinku: "Na beta, na beti. Maine doosri shaadi kar li"

Email |  Post Comments

Mareez ne achanak aankhen khole hua kaha" Doctor sahib, Kya mera operation kamyaab raha...?"

Doosri taraf se awaaj aayi "Sabar se kaam lo bhai main doctor nahin yamdoot hoon"

Email |  Post Comments

You have two cigarettes on a boat but no source of fire. How will you light a cigarette if you are in the middle of the river?"

Some answers are:

1) Throw a cigarette into the river. It make the boat lighter. Use it to light cigarette.

2) Throw a cigartette in air and catch it. Catches win matches.Use these matches to light cigarette.

3) Take some river water, let it fall drop by drop. You know that "Tip-tip barsa pani, pani ne aag lagai.". Use it to light the cigarette.

Email |  Post Comments

Teacher: "If 2+2 = 4 to batao mere ghar ki tanki me kitna pani hai..."

Karan : "Sir 80 litre."

Teacher: "Kyun?"

Karan: "Sir, kyonki kal mere ghar aalu ki sabji bani thi..."

Email |  Post Comments

Ek bar Tinku ko uske sasur ne bahut peeta.



Why?



Kyunki jab woh baap bana to uske sasur ne usko SMS kiya



??


"Tum Baap ban Gaye"



??



Usne woh message sabko send kar diya.

Email |  Post Comments

Dharmendra subscribed HUTCH.

But the HUTCH network didn't follow him.

Why??




???






???






Socho??










bcoz the dog was afraid

" Kutte mai tera khoon pee jaonga..!"

Email |  Post Comments

A boy named "CURLEY" was sittin in toilet.

And his mother called him by his name "BETA CURLEY".

Son: Nahi mom abhi to latak rahi hai.

Email |  Post Comments

Biscuit wala's love letter

Dear PARLE G,

Today is GOODDAY, you have KRACK-JACKED my LITTLE HEART,. Now I am in 50-50 position. Please don't play HIDE & SEEK, MARIE me.