Entertainment Jokes

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Gabbar - Ye haath mujhe de de Thakur.
Thakur - Le le kutte,magar do haath to tere paas bhi hain,ab kya sherawali maa banega.

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Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?

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Gabbar: Kitne Aadmi thay?
Sambha: Sardar Do!
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?
Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad aata hai!
Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?
Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai!
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun aata hai?
Sambha: Beech mein koi nahi aata!
Gabbar: To phir Dono ek saath kyon nahi aatey?
Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai!
Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?
Sambha: Do ek se Ek bada hai!
Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek, ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mar do !

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Yusuf ka husn, Zulekha ka ghumaar dekha hai,
Kuch is tarah se Haseenon ka pyaar dekha hai,
Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat,
Kasam khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai.

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(1) I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.

(2) Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty so the world needs YOU after all!

(3) If ever in your life you are very sad & lonely & feel that you have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take you for a Walk on a Bridge & Show you where to jump From !!!

(4) Today, tomorrow and yesterday there will be one heart that would always beat for you.
You know Whose ? Your Own Stupid!!!

(4) Life without you is impossible, you are in my breath and blood. i can't stay for a second without you, if yoo are not there i am dead!
Oye! Hello ! I am talking about OXYGEN.

(5) How do you keep an idiot in suspense ?
I'll Tell you later.

(6) Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
Always listen to your hubby,he gives sound advice: 99% Sound & 1% Advice.

(7) Sincere Apology:
If YOu don't like any of my SMS or don't like to read or if my messages disturb you,then please don't hesitate,feel free to throw your Mobile!!

(8) Boy: what will you give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest?
Girl: A push.

(9) Cute,Good looking,Easy to handle !
Cool,Nice structure !.

It's my mobile. How about yours?

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Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes...


1)Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent.In one of the fights, our great
Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!

Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.
Guess,what he does?
He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces,which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.


3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does?
Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the
gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang...the gangster dies...

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed.

Oops, not so fast!

The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth
can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
because it's the climax.

(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall,
he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide.

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Q- What are the two latest versions of Java?
A- Don't think more yaar it's MarJAVA and MitJAVA.

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1 day a monkey looked in to the mirror and said:
"Oh my ugly face" and killed himslf.
Promise me you'll not look in the mirror
because I dont want to loose a good friend like you.

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If you find it very boring in the office, here are some tips:



1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.

2. Make blank calls to your Boss.

3. Send mails from lotus notes(outlook) to your internet mail (and immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or your mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then do vice versa............. !!

4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to irritate him/her.

5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).

6. Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions while working and try changing your ex-pressions also.

7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts.

8. Make faces at strangers in office.

9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.

10. Learn to whistle.

11. Revise last week's newspaper.

12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.

13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.

14. Compile "How to waste your day"

15. Pick up phone and dial non-existing nos.

16. Have work breaks in between tea.

17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at time.

18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restore them..Then repeat this process.

19. Look at someone & try to imagine how(s) he might have looked when(s) he was 5 years old.

20. Read jokes and send jokes.

21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a nap.


And if you are still getting bored.........................then



22. Fwd this mail to everyone u know ….

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Design hai to Development hai,

Development hai to Testing hai,
Testing hai to Defects hai,
Defects hai to Fixing hai,
Fixing hai to More Defects hai,
Defects hai to Analysis hai,
Analysis hai to Requirements hai,
Requirements hai to Design hai,

Design hai to Development hai,
Matlab Project Gol Gol hai,
Bus goli dene vala chahiye..