Love And Marriages Jokes

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A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.

She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards, too."

The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right here."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag!"

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When I asked My Wife : Which book do you like the best?

She answers: Your Cheque book.

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1st bnia: I m so kanjoos I went alone to honeymoon &
saved half money.
2nd bania: u r nothing I saved all money , I send my wife with my friend.

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Santa: Oye tere viah ho gaya?
Banta: Haan .
Santa: Kuri naal?
Banta: Oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: haan,meri behn da hoya si..!

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LOVE LETTER FROM A FAMOUS MATHEMATICIAN TO HIS BELOVED

My Dear Love,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in
trigonometric
lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face,
conical nose and
spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you
my heart was a null set, but when a vector of
magnitude (likeness) from
your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a
tangent to my heart, it
differentiated.



My love for you is a quadratic equation with real
roots, which only
you can solve by making good binary relation with me.
The cosine of my
love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I
should not resolve
you into partial functions but if I do so, you can
integrate me by applying
the limits from zero to infinity.You are as essential
to me as an
element of a set. The geometry of my life revolves
around your acute
personality.


My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant
on date 10 at
sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160
degrees, my heart would
be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love
from your higher order
derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown
function.


Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras

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The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too
much, fell
into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really
works!"

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A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

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Adam and Mike are playing golf one day at their local golf course. Adam is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession driving by the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his hat, closes his eyes, and begins to pray. Mike says: “Wow, that is the most touching and beautiful thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” Adam replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

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The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said "No, I can't live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly."

"OK," said the judge, "then you want to live with your mother, right?"

"No way!" replied baby bear, "She beats me worse than Papa bear does."

The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn't quite know what to do. "Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?" asked the judge.

"Yes," answered baby bear, "my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago."

"You're sure she will treat you well and won't beat you?" asked the judge.

"Oh definitely," said baby bear, "the Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."

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Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?