Love And Marriages Jokes

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The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.
The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbour protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?".

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Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don t you think you ve had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

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Mr Elahi had 3 sons named-
Rehmet-e-elahi,
Barkat-e-elahi,
And Mehbub-e-elahi,
When his 4th son was born his wife decided to name him Bas-kar-e-elahi.

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HARD-DISK Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

SCREENSAVER Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Girls:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Girls:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her,
She comes, installs herself and uses all your resources.
If you try to uninstall her you will lose something,
If you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.

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Mrs Banta phoned Banta in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner."

"Good" replied Banta, "Make sure she's prepared well".

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MAN TO WIFE: We always keep fighting! Dont you have something we both can agree on?
WIFE: Of course!
MAN: What?
WIFE: We both were married on the same day...!!

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These are some of the romantic countries in the world.
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here..I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.

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A sher is getting married in jungle. There is a big bash and all animals are dancing to the tune of loud music being played.
In a corner a chooha too is dancing.
He is asked, "Are bhai choohe, aap kyu nach rahe ho?"
"Mere chote bhai ki shadi hai....Nachunga Nahin? "
"Sher kabse aapka bhai hone laga?"
"Shadi se pehle main bhi sher thaa!", replied chooha.