Nationalty Jokes

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In NASA all the scientists together make one space shuttle, but they fail to launch it. Then they call different scientists from different parts of the world to launch the vehicle. But all of them also fail to launch it.
Then they call one Sardarji from India to launch the vehicle. Sardarji orders them to tilt the vehicle to 45 degrees angle then again get it to it's normal position. Then the vehicle gets Launched successfully.
After this the media people asked him that how did he get this idea. Then he replies that," In India if our scooter does not start then we tilt our scooter by 45 degrees angle and again bring it back to its normal position. Then the scooter gets started. The same idea I carried here."

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On a flight to america one muslim,one sikh,and one hindu boarded.The plane was just moving above the Atlantic ocean it started giving trouble the captain requested everyone to jump out but the three indians didn't had parachutes.I am leaving the rest of the for you to complete.

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Defining Indian:-
If you see anyone in this situation, he must be an Indian who:
1. Couldn’t learn to water ski because he couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
2. Got his degree but couldn’t work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn’t fit into the typewriter.
3. Got excited because he finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years."
4. Was trapped in an escalator for hours when the power went out.
5. Couldn’t call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
6. When asked what the capital of California?
he answered "C."
7. Burned his nose bobbing for French fries.
8. Baked a turkey for 8 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 185.
9. Couldn’t make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets.

10. Changes his baby’s diaper only once a month because the label says "good up to 20 pounds."
Or simply
Indian is the one who Lays eggs.
If hindus consider cow as their mother then why they hesitate to accept bull as their father?

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Q : Red-line private buses are notorious for their recklessness and hit rate. When a red-line bus is on the road, which is the best place be in?
A : Inside the bus.
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Q: Why is Delhi a male city (Maha Nagar) and Bombay a female city (Maha Nagri)?
A: Because Delhi has Qutab Minar and Bombay has Gateway of India.

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* Your house smells like fried onions.
* When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
* There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
* You make tea in a saucepan.
* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
* You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
* You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
* You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
* You hide everything from your parents.
* Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
* You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
* Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
* Everyone is a family friend.
* Everyone always called you for help on homework.
* You study law, medicine or engineering at university.
* You were thick so you studied computer science or business instead.
* You know no one who has studied music.
* You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
* Your best friend got married at the age of 18.
* You only make telephone calls after 6pm.
* You like the meat well done.
* You eat onions with everything.
* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
* You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
* You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.
* You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
* You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.
* You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
* You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
* You secure your baggage with a rope.
* You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.
* You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
* Your Dad drives a Nissan.
* You're rich so he drives a Mercedes.

- (For females) You're parents would freak out if
you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable
(For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm
* You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
* When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning
* To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid
* You wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other
* Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names
* You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku
* Your parents call all your friends "Beta" (son) whether they are PAK or not
* Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds
* Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
* Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
* Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.
* At least once a week your mom says, "I want to go to India/Pakistan"
* No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
* Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/ lawyer/ engineer.
* You're parent's always say, "It's cheaper in India/Pakistan"

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A Indian guy named Anantharaman Subbaraman arrived at the Kuwait airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name, he got fed up and went to them and asked why they havent called his name yet.

They said that they have been calling him as 'Anotherman superman.'

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Air hostess :sir r u vegeterian or non vegeterian.
Lalu :I am an Indian .
Air hostess:no sir kya aap shakahari hai ya masahari
Lalu: no I am bihari.

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An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks to see the loan
officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of
security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new Rolls
Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything is checked
out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and
parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business,
and
this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are little
puzzled."
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Indian replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two
weeks just for 15 bucks?"

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English Man : - Humare America mein War ho gaya hai
Mohit: - Humare India mein to roz hi war hota hai
English Man : - wo kaise?
Mohit : - Somwar, Mangalwar, Budhwar.....!!!

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A Polish Paratrooper makes his first jump.

He was given the following instructions: "once you jumped you need to open your parachute. If it doesn't open, you have a reserve one. The Jeep will wait for you on the ground".

So, he gets on the plane, jumps outside but can't open his parachute. He then tries to open the reserve one, but it deosn't open as well.
"Great", he says to himself, "Now all I need is that the Jeep won't wait for me to make it a real unlucky day".