People Jokes

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A prisoner was instructed to Free Ten prisoners from a cell. He was so excited that he forgot to include himself!

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Mr.Bean Joke for Everyone...!
1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!


2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!


3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!


4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!


5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?

Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?

Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.


6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?

Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?

Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.


7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:

Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder

Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!


8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.

Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.


9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful.. ..is it one c or two c?

Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!

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Maa: Beta, apple kha le
Beta: nahi
Maa: Beta, kele(banana) kha le
Beta: nahi
Maa: Beta, orange kha le
Beta: nahi
Maa: Maloom hai bilkul apne Baap par gaya hai joote hi khaega

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PATIENT : MUJHE BIMARI HAI, KHANE KE BAAD BHOOKH NAHI LAGTI,
SONE KE BAAD NEEND NAHI AATI,
KAAM KAROON TO THAK JATA HOON.

DOCTOR : SAARI RAAT DHOOP MEIN BAITHO THEEK HO JAOGE

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santa to banta; yaar pata hai jab main chota tha tab ek din qutub minar se gir gaya tha.

banta: yaar phir tu mar gaya ki bach gaya?

santa; yaar yaad nahi main bahot chota tha na.

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TOUCH YOUR HEART
YOU'LL FEEL THE RHYTHM OF UR HEARTBEAT
TOUCH YOUR WRIST
YOU'LL FEEL YOUR PULSE
TOUCH YOUR HEAD
YOU'LL FEEL THE RHYTHM OF TAPPING AN EMPTY POT
TIN TIN TIDIN........

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SARDAR DARWAZE PE GUN LEKAR RUK GAYA.
WIFE: WHY ARE YOU STANDING HERE?
SARDAR: SHER KA SHIKAR KARNE JA RAHA HOON.
WIFE: TOH JAONA.
SARDAR: KAISE JAOON BAHAR KUTTA HAI!

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GHALIB APNI BEWAFA PREMIKA KE GHAR KE SAAMNE SUSU
KARTA HUA PAKDA GAYA,
AUR POOCHHNE PAR BOLA,
"AB TOH TERE PYAAR MEIN YUN DUKHI HUA HAI DIL, KI ANSU BHI NIKALTA HAI RAASTE BADAL BADAL KE"

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Ladka Achanak Ladki ko Dekh kar kehta hai,

"Lafz tere geet mere, Ghazal koi Khaas sunaoon kya?

Ladki,"Haat mere gaal tere, Kaan ke neeche bajaoon kya?

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There was three employee in a construction company.One was from Gujrat, one was South Indian and other was from Punjab.They were working on 10th floor of a newly construct building. One day during lunch time the Gujrati said if tomorrow my wife will give Dhokla again in my tiffin I will jump from this buliding. South Indian also said if tomorrow my wife will give Dosa again in my tiffin I will jump from this buliding and sarder also said if he will get Paratha again he will also do the same. Next day in linch time when they opened theirs tiffin they found same things. As the promise three of them jumped from the building and died. In the funeral ground Gujratis wife crying that "Mujhe agar pehle pata hoti to me aaj dhokla kabhi nahi bhejti",South Indian wife was also crying that "Mujhe agar pehle pata hoti to me aaj Dosa ki jagah pe Idly bhejti". But sarder wife was not crying. Then someone asked her what is wrong with you. Why you are not crying ? Then she replied that "He used to prepare his tiffen himself !"