People Jokes

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Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

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The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

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Sardar:- Why all this mens were running...?
Man:- This Is RACE. The winner will get the Cup.
Sardar:- If only the winner will get the Cup... Then why others were running...?

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Sardar:- Bhaisab Time Kya Hua Hai....?
Man:- Shaam Ke 6:00 Baje Hai..
Sardar:- Saala Subah Se Time Puch Raha Hu
Sab Alag Alag Time Bata Rahe Hai.
Keep Laughing...

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Customer: waiter what's this fly doing in my soup?
waiter : i think its swimming

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Customer: Waiter there is a fly in my soup

waiter : dont worry sir the spider on your bread will kill it

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Waiter : i have stewed liver , boiled tongue and frog leg
customer : dont tell me your problem give me the menu card

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Manager :Why R u looking Worried?
Chef: there r ants in food no idea what 2 do
Manager : dont worry i will announce today that we r having Chinese food festival

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Teacher: A For ?
Student" Apple
Teacher : Jor Se Bolo
Student : Jai Mata Di

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The Doctor Said He would have me on my feet in two weeks
"did he?"
"yes i had to sell my car to pay the bill