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Professional Jokes
B by : TEJESH on 22-Mar-2011 Views : 15436
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" W "!!



Woman and WIFE....!

Santa To Customer Care
B by : Yusuf on 25-Jul-2009 Views : 29257
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santa 2 customer care: Meri sim card bhains kha ke chali gai
customer care: to isme main kya karu?
santa: Ji mujhe ye puchhna tha ke roaming to nahi lagegi

MBA Joke
B by : Vikas Sumani on 10-Jan-2008 Views : 40676
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An MBA and a Bcom go on a camping trip, set up their tent and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the Bcom wakes his MBA friend. "look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

The MBA ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time ! wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"

The Bcom is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".


One night 4 MBA students were boozing till late night and didn't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.

They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

Then dean was a just person so he said that you can have the retest after 3 days.

They said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the dean. The dean said that this was a special condition test.

All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks.

Q 1. Write down your name ----- (2 marks)

Q 2. Which tyre burst ------- (98 marks)

Once All The Scientists Die And Go To Heaven
B by : Ritcha Rao on 06-Nov-2007 Views : 19898
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Once all the scientists die and go to
They decide to play hide-n-seek.........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........
He is supposed to count upto 100
...and then start searching.....
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it rightin front
of Einstein...........
Einsteins counting......

He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........
Einstein says "newtons out..newtons....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims tht he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out and he proves tht he is not newton..........
> >>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>scroll down.........
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>....scroll down......... further..............
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>.......
> >>>
> >>>.............
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>...................Scroll little......
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>His proof:
> >>>
> >>>Newton says:
> >>>I am standing in a square of area 1m square.....
> >>>That means i am Newton per meter square......
> >>>Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter

Taxi Driver..
B by : Ashique-E-Bimar on 06-Oct-2007 Views : 23098
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A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed , lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Love Letter By An Advertising Manager
B by : Dinesh Poojary on 29-Sep-2007 Views : 14663
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My Dear FAIR & LOVELY (ek tukda chand ka),
you are my TVS SCOOTY (First Love)
and my AIWA (Pure Passion).
I always BPL (Believe in the Best) and you are
SANSUI (Better Than The Best).
You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering Million
for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously
feeling for me. As you know
I am REYMOND (The Complete Man) for you,
I want you to be my life partner but I
think you are worried about your father
who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable)
and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough) but
worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine)
and rest of our family members are
pretty KELVINATORS (The Coolest Ones).
If they will say no, we will run away
and marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things
In our marriage SAMSUNG (Everyone's Invited).
Our parents will feel MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka
se lage)
but I believe in COCA COLA (jo chahe ho jaye).
Trust in the God who's always NOKIA (Connecting
who love each other. And we are WILLS (Made For
Each Other).
Now that HYUNDAI (We are Listening) the song of
you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real
of Life),
SATYAM ONLINE (Fun Fast Easy) and
PARX (Always Comfortable).
So never forget me.
Ok bye I wrote little but PEPSI (ye dil maange
LG (Digitally yours),

A 3 Day Pass
B by : Mehfuz on 02-Aug-2007 Views : 7803
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An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

Advance Science
B by : Jolly Uncle on 25-Jul-2007 Views : 4634
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The teacher asked, " Can you give me a good example of how heat expands things and cold contracts them?"
"Well," one alert pupil answered, "the days are much longer in summer.''

Pakistani Scientist
B by : Naghina on 15-May-2007 Views : 5248
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NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.

Finally, there was a Pakistani scientist who offered to help. NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything."Tilt the rocket 90 degrees to the right" said the Pakistani scientist.

The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. "Bring it back to vertical position" the Pakistani said. The engineers did. "Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space! Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do.

He replied - "It is very simple. This is what we always do with our CD70 motorcycles in Pakistan".

Lawyers Questions
B by : Naveen on 06-Apr-2007 Views : 5032
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Lawyer's Question : What is your date of birth?
Answer : July fifteenth.
Lawyer's Question : Which year?
(Stupid) Answer : Every year.

Lawyer's Question : What was the first thing your husband said to you when
he woke up that morning?
Answer : He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Lawyer's Question : And why did that upset you?
Answer : My name is Susan.

Lawyer's Question : And where was the location of the accident?
Answer : Approximately milepost 499.
Lawyer's Question : And where is milepost 499?
Answer : Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Lawyer's Question : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Lawyer's Question : Were you present when your picture was taken ?

Lawyer's Question : So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
Answer : Yes.
Lawyer's Question : And what were you doing at that time?

Lawyer's Question : She had three children, right?
Answer : Yes.
Lawyer's Question : How many were boys?
Answer : None.
Lawyer's Question : Were there any girls?

Lawyer's Question : How was your first marriage terminated?
Answer : By death.
Lawyer's Question : And by whose death was it terminated?

Lawyer's Question : Can you describe the individual?
Answer : He was about medium height and had a beard.
Lawyer's Question : Was this a male or a female?

Lawyer's Question : Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
Answer : All my autopsies are performed only on dead people.

Lawyer's Question : Do you recall the time when you examined the body of
Mr. Dennington ?
Answer : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Lawyer's Question : And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
(Snappy) Answer : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy.

Lawyer's Question : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for the pulse?
Answer : No.
Lawyer's Question : Did you check for blood pressure?
Answer : No.
Lawyer's Question : Did you check for breathing?
Answer : No.
Lawyer's Question : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
Answer : No.
Lawyer's Question : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Answer : Because his brain was kept in a jar on my desk.
Lawyer's Question : But could the patient have still been alive,
(Snappy) Answer : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing Law somewhere.

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