Going OutB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 14-Sep-2005 Views : 169 Going Out
A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out.
The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
MermaidB by : Ripudaman Saini on 14-Sep-2005 Views : 201 Three Fishermen and the Mermaid Three fishers were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisher said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisher said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed. The third fisher was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisher said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman.
FishingB by : Ripudaman Saini on 14-Sep-2005 Views : 160 An Italian fellow took his mother fishing on a party boat for Fluke one day, after drifting for hours without even a nibble his mother hooks into a doormat Fluke, everyone on the boat was excited cheering the old women on telling her to take her time don't lose it etc. finally she lifted it into the boat picked up the fish removed the hook looked at it up and down and then tossed it back into the water, stunned her son said mama why did you throw that fish back into the water? She looked at him and said I don't know to me it just didn't look fresh
Women JokesB by : Ripudaman Saini on 14-Sep-2005 Views : 231 Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Submitted by Tom.
CowB by : Ripudaman Saini on 14-Sep-2005 Views : 185 There was the cartoon showing two people fighting over a cow. One was pulling the cow by the tail; the other was pulling on the head. Underneath was a lawyer milking the cow.
LawyerB by : Ripudaman Saini on 14-Sep-2005 Views : 160 Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are fantasy creatures.
UltimateB by : Ripudaman Saini on 14-Sep-2005 Views : 150 A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.
Only In AmericaB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 13-Sep-2005 Views : 164 Only in America
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. (This was popular when Clinton was in office)
What Was The ProblemB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 13-Sep-2005 Views : 171 What was the problem
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the Flight Attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
Flying Without A ParachuteB by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 13-Sep-2005 Views : 194 Flying without a parachute
A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes hiss chute is broken. He doesn't know anything about parachutes, but as the earth rapidly approaches, he realizes his options are limited; he takes off the parachute and tries to fix it himself on the way down. The wind is ripping past his face, he's dropping like a rock, and at 5000 feet, another man goes shooting up past him. In desperation, the man with the chute looks up and yells, "Hey do you know anything about parachutes?!"
The guy flying up looks down and yells, "No, do you know anything about gas stoves?!"
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