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Society And Culture Jokes |
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Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the eldest daughter.
He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the second daughter.
He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the youngest daughter.
My wife narrated this one. And even though I thought it was very funny, I had to cluck my tongue and say "how dare he...?"
Well, she and few of her friends were travelling on APSRTC one day.As usual, the bus was packed. And these guys were occupying the ladies seats. Well, my wife, being a woman of a strong will, asked one of the guys sitting in a ladies seat:
Bhai, yeh ladies seat hai. Ooper likha hai, dikhai nahi
deta?
To which he replied, "to jahaan likha hai, wahin baitth jao"!!
Lol Ramesh went to New Delhi for the first time in his life. He went there during the time of Asiad and was zapped to see all these new stadiums, newly constructed roads, flyovers etc etc. The poor fellow hadn't seen all this ever before. So when he came back to Aligarh people asked him as to how did he like Delhi, he was too excited and said : yaar delhi to buhat top ka laga, pura
delhi chamak chamak raha tha, sab kuch jagmaga raha tha, sab shine maar raha tha lekin yaar ek cheez hum understand nahin kar paye, yeh itta barka barka speed breaker kahe ko bana diya hai (he couldn't figure out what is a flyover).
The Mirror
Legend has it that there is a coffee bar in
New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth one is granted a wish.
However, if one tells a lie ---*poof*------- you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
A redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." *Poof* the mirror swallows her up.
Next a rather large brunette stands before
the mirror and says, "I'm the sexiest woman alive". *Poof* the mirror swallows her too.
Then, an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think...". *Poof*
She Was So Blonde That
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate.
"
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
She studied for a blood test.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
She sold the car for gas money!
Comfortable
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow. - - - -
("com-for-da-bul" )
He who is without sin
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
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