Sports And Hobbies Jokes

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Saurav Ganguly in the Rapid Fire round of Coffee with
Karan...

Q. What's Your favorite English movie?
A. Gone in 60 Seconds

Q. What's Your favorite Hindi movie?
A. AA Aab laut chalen.

Q. What's Your favorite song?
A. Ek pal ka Jeena ...... Phir to hai jana '


Q. What's Your favorite food?
A. Maggie (off course.... He puts Maggie noodles in a
pan before going to at and he comes back just in time when it is ready)

Q. What does ABC means to you?

A A for Awkward bounce, B for Bowled, C for caught...


Q. What is the similarity between 100 m race and Your
innings?
A. Both take same time to complete.

Q. Easiest way to get you out?
A. Bowl to me. I will get out anyway.

Q. How can You score century in cricket?
A. By bowling 10 overs


Q. Which is the best team in the world?
A. India off course ...... It plays with 10 people
and still wins sometimes.

Q. What would you do after retirement?
A. Become catching coach. I offer best catches in the
game of cricket.


Q. Who can beat Your record of 2 min at crease?
A. I can myself. Just need to improve my walking
speed to the pitch.

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Pichle saal ki baat hai..

There was a movie released called "GAVASKAR" in
Australia. Apna Sunil Gavaskar felt very proud about it. He went personally to watch the movie and check out how his image was portrayed in the movie. Movie chaalu ho gayi ... interval tak Gavaskar ka koi naamonishaan nahi.. then Gavaskar thought movie me asli actor interval ke baad hi aata hai .


But the bad part is movie got over and no Gavaskar
found. Gavaskar got wild and he decided to sue the movie producers & directors.

He asked "Gavaskar naam ki movie banayi aur mere baare
me kuch bhi nahi aisa kyon kiya ??"


Then he got a reply and after hearing that he got
silent and came back home in India.....
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guess wht was the reply he got ???
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guess..

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"Tumne bhi to BORDER movie banayi lekin Allan Border
ke baare me kuch bataya kya ??"



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A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?

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The Worst Caddie in the World

Irate golfer, on his way to a round of 150: "You must be the worst caddie in the world!"

Scottish caddie (dryly): "That would be too much of a coincidence, sir."

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Olympic Village

Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."

Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.

The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."

The first guy gets inspired and grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin."

The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"

The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up to the registration table and states: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."

The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."

They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan, because he's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. They forgot to make sure he doesn't do something stupid and blow their cover stories.

Just then he walks proudly up to the table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and states: "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."

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The wisdom of the soccer player

"My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.' DAVID BECKHAM

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.' MARK VIDUKA

"We lost because we didn't win." RONALDO

"I've had 14 bookings this season - eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable." PAUL GASCOIGNE

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." MICK DRAPER

"It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked."

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."

"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." STEWART PEARCE

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." IAN RUSH

"Germany are a difficult team to play... they had 11 internationals out there today."

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." ALAN SHEARER

"Sometimes in football you have to score goats." THIERRY HENRY

"Winning doesn't realty matter as long as you win." VINNY JONES

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level." DAVID BECKHAM

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Jogging Shoes

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
"What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?" "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far."

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The Faster you are

Tom P., the Olympic Gold Medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends.

At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said "Sorry, mate, you can't come in here - no denim."

Tom was quite annoyed at this and retorted, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Tom P."

"Then it won't take you long to run home and change, will it?" replied the bouncer.

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Stupid Things Actually Said By Soccer Commentators

1. Well, it's Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I've got to fancy Liverpool for the win.

2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.

3. And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.

4. With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.

5. Well, it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.

6. If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.

7. Their manager, Howard Wilkinson, isn't here today, which strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.

8. I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other need to score two to win.

9. If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.

10. You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but there were eight.

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Sports Commentator Bloopers

Here are some comments made by sports commentators that I'm sure they would like to take back:

3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."

4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."