Sports And Hobbies Jokes

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"What's taking so long?" shouted an exasperated golfer as he waited for his partner to line up a tee shot. "My wife is watching me from the clubhouse," explained the other man. "This needs to be a perfect shot." "Forget it," said the golfer. "You'll never hit her from down here."

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Balbir
A Sardar had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat.

After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!" He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice-with no success .Then he realized he had lost his place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again .

After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to buy a coke. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as he got to the window, a voice called out"Hey, Balbir!" Again He tried to find the voice and got out of line as he wandered looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck. he was very upset as he got back in line for his coke.Finally he had his coke and took his seat eager for the game to begin.

As he waited for the first pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once more. Furious, He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs,"My name isn't Balbir!"

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A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."

"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

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Bhola wanted to join an amateur football team. The coach looked him over and decided to give him a chance.
"I will give you three questions," said the coach. "If you come back in a week and answer them all correctly, you're on the team."
"Fair enough!" said Bhola eagerly.

The coach proceeded, "Here are your questions.
First, how many days are there in a week that start with the letter 'T'?
Second, how many seconds are there in a year?
And third, how many d's are there in 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"

Next week, Bhola came back, feeling all confident that he knew the right answers. So again the coach said, "So how many days in the week that start with 'T'?"
Bhola says, "Two!"
"Very good!" said the coach. And what are they?"
"Today and Tomorrow!"
"Hmm... OK," said the coach. "How many seconds are there in a year?"
"Twelve!"
"Twelve? How did you come up with twelve?" The coach was perplexed.
"Well," said Bhola, "there's the second of January, the second of February, the second of..."
"Um.. OK," broke in the coach.

"How many d's in 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"
"Oh, that is easy!" laughed Bhola. "Three hundred and sixty-five!"
"WHAT?" cried the coach. "How did you get that figure?"
To which Bhola sang, "dee dee dee-dee-dee dee-dee...."

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After the shameful defeat of the Indian cricket team in the final of the Pepsi Cup 99 in Bangalore, the team members were not able to show their faces to people. They chose not to go in public and rather just pack up in hotel rooms.

Dravid could not resist for too long to be in his hometown and still not be able to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as a Sardar and goes out. He meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him, "Hi Dravid!"

Surprised for having been caught, he comes back and disguises himself as a Muslim woman - in burkha and all, and goes out. Yet the same again - the same woman greets him, "Hi Dravid!".

Dravid comes back and is determined to give it yet another try with the make up of a hippie wig and shorts etc. All in vain - the same lady catches him again and greets him, "Hi Dravid!".

Bewildered by now, he could not help asking,"How did you recognize me?" And comes the answer, "Because I am Srinath!"

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Sunil Gavaskar hears about a movie called 'Gavaskar' newly released in Australia. He feels quite flattered, he knew the Aussies always liked him, despite his run in with 'Dennis Lillee' and all Gavaskar then gets himself invited for the premier, after sitting through the whole show he realizes that there wasn't a single mention of him or his great achievements in the movie. He approached the producer visibly upset.

"How come you make a movie called 'Gavaskar' and have no no mention of me in it at all"?

The producer replies: "Dont make such a fuss ... you Indians made a movie called Border where there was no mention of Alan Border either"

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Following are the 4 easy steps to cook maggi

Step 1: boil one cup of water

Step 2: as soon as Ganguly goes for batting, put the
noodles in the
boiled water and put the tastemaker.

Step 3: stir till Ganguly is on field.

Step 4: As soon as Ganguly is back in pavilion, your
noodles are ready
to eat.

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Bhola saw that his friend Herolal was very depressed.

"What happened ?" asked Bhola.

"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday."

"How come ?"

"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."

"But thats only Rs.500,where did the rest go ?"

"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too"

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Bhola as you know, is a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.

Finally, Bhola decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again.

He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself. So, one day, on the
way home from work Bhola took his old route home and sure enough there they were. He
walked up to them and the battle ensued.

The next afternoon Bhola went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip. His instructor, shocked, asked him what happened.

"Well," explained Bhola, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat these guys up who were stealing my money, but they beat me up before I could get my shoes and socks off!"

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Bholaji is selected to play for the Indian cricket team as an opening batsman. He opens the batting against West Indies. He is asked to face the very first over (with one Sunil Gavaskar as the non-striker!) from Marshall who is bowling at his fiercest...

First ball : Whizzes past Bholaji's off-stump. Bholaji doesn't move an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper.

Second ball : Goes right over the Bholaji's bat and just over the middle stump, somehow missing both the bat and the stumps. Bholaji is again unmoved.

Third ball : Is a bouncer. Almost decapitates the Bholaji, missing his head by a fraction of an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Bholaji doesn't move a muscle.

Fourth ball : Outside the leg-stump. Bholaji again doesn't move, and the ball shoots past him to the wicket-keeper. But this time, the umpire shouts "No Ball!"

Bholaji walks upto the umpire and tells him, "So you discovered it now? You see, I know from the very beginning that the guy has no ball in his hand!"