A Heart Broken Elephant Goes To The Park To Cheer Himself Up.B by : Sarabjit Singh on 06-Jun-2006 Views : 370 A heart broken elephant goes to the park to cheer himself up.
He sits on the see-saw and it breaks.
What does he sings?
See-saw ho yah dil ho... Akhir toot jata hai.
Silly CollectionB by : Tanay Kumar Das on 16-May-2006 Views : 371 Why doesn't the sea spill over the earth?
Because it's tied!
Who was the Black Prince?
The son of Old King Cole!
Did you hear about the mad scientist who invented a gas that could burn through anything?
No, what about him?
Now he's trying to invent something to hold it in!
Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit?
So he could tell the time at night!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snowball!
Where does a general keep his armies?
Up his sleevies!
Why did the burglar take a shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway!
What kind of fish can't swim?
Dead ones!
How do Welsh people eat cheese?
Caerphilly!
Why do polar bears have fur coats?
Because they would look silly in anoraks!
IF TITANIC WAS MADE IN INDIAB by : Tanay Kumar Das on 09-May-2006 Views : 477 If the titanic was made in India -
1. There would be 10 times as many people on the ship.
2. There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a White dress, singing in the rain.
3. By the end of the movie hero would find his long lost mom, dad,sister and brother.
4. It would be a seven-and-half-hour movie with three intervals.
5. The movie would be called "Pyaar Kiya To Marna Kya".
6. The hero, heroine, his mom, dad, sister and brother will float in the cold water for days and yet survive. The villain will drown in the first drop of water.
7. The iceberg was sent by the heroine's father to teach a lesson to the hero.
8. None of the people would float for long because of the sarees.
9. The orchestra would play "Jai Santoshi Maa" and ring Ghantees, and a ray of light would come and transport the musicians to another ship.
10. And can you imagine how many times we would hear "BACHAOOOO!!!"?
Driver Illegally ParksB by : Mahabir Prasad on 26-Dec-2005 Views : 522 Driver illegally parks
A driver tucked this note under the windshield wiper of his automobile. "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment, and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he came back he found a parking ticket and this note: "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
Each Man Gives A StoryB by : Arti Agarwal on 06-Nov-2005 Views : 310 Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."
SELFISHB by : Richa on 21-Oct-2005 Views : 332 A baby fish asked to her mother "Mom why cant we live on earth?
Mother fish replied: "Earth is not the place for fish. it is made only for SELFISH
Crocodile Is Longer Than It Is WideB by : Arti Agarwal on 20-Oct-2005 Views : 340 Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green: Let's look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, but it is green only on the top. Therefore, the crocodile is longer than it is green.
Lemma 2. The crocodile is greener than it is wide: Let's look at the crocodile. It is green along its length and width, but it is wide only along its width. Therefore, the crocodile is greener than it is wide.
From Lemma 1 and Lemma 2 we conclude that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Two Bear HuntersB by : Jitendra Nayak on 11-Oct-2005 Views : 275 Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
What Do Penguins Sing On A Birthday?B by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 08-Oct-2005 Views : 243 Q: What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why Do Penguins Carry Fish In Their Beaks?B by : Ajit Hari Sahu on 08-Oct-2005 Views : 287 Q: Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
A: Because they havenīt got any pockets.
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